These last two days I was back at my grad school doing recruiting at a jobfair. It’s surprising the amount of douchery that goes on at these events, and definitely does not help them get a job. I’ll try to list out some key things I noticed as do’s and don’ts.

Some Things to Do:

Know the company you are talking to. I couldn’t believe how many undergrads came up trying to get a job and didn’t know a damn thing about what we do. If you want to talk to a recruiter, at least learn about the services that the company offers and who they are.

Know who you are talking to. It made me smirk when the job hopeful would shake my hand and start off on the prewritten sell, then have to pause and look up at the sign for the company name. It went something like this- “hi, I am a senior in [insert major] and feel I would be a strong applicant for..[pause, look up at sign]…[company name]. Yeah…no thank you mr douche.

Eat a breathmint..or five. If I have to avoid inhaling toxic air and and getting lighteaded from lack of oxygen, I probably won’t be listening to your pitch. At least one recruiting booth will be giving away mints; go pretend you care and get some.

Some Things Not to Do:

Don’t make your pitch seem badly prerehearsed. It is a good idea to figure out what you want to say, but when you deliver don’t make it seem like you’re just reading off a sheet. I personally glazed over when undergrads started (badly) reciting their sales pitch.

Pay attention to the recruiter’s response. If I’m looking bored, please cut off your five minute long sermon of why you’re such a good fit. I was in the same spot as you before, so I know all the bullshit tricks. Don’t give me that bullshit because it is very easy to spot.

Don’t just try and whore yourself off to the company by going on and on about your GPA and you saving the dolphins last summer. Have a conversation with me, and it will be more likely that I won’t think you are a total douche king.

Don’t givr me a wacky handshake. When you shake my hand, give a good grip and pump once. This is so basic but so many people messed it up. I got every lame shake from the fingertip shake to 20 pumps to limp wristed shakes. If you have trouble, just practice with a friend..hand shaking is a very important protocol for meeting people, so learn how to give a solid handshake.

Don’t call me “buddy”. If I don’t know you and you are some freshman, I’m probably not your buddy. It is almost as annoying as being called “bro” by a total stranger. I feel like introducing my knuckles to your face when you call me buddy. Just call me by what’s written on my nametag and keep it at that.

There are many other things to keep in mind while working a jobfair, but these are the things that bugged me the most these last two days. Keep them in mind and just keep things relaxed. Have a conversation and be genuinely interested. Otherwise, you just come off as a douche, and that’s the note I’ll be writing on your resume.