Whether it be your family or newly acquired family (e.g., wedding, adoptions, abductions), it is common to eventually have someone in your family who just drives you insane. As I often get reminded, homicide is highly frowned upon illegal in this country and usually the person is not worth the angst. So before you whip up the rat poison margarita mix, take a breather and think about it. Something I read once really hits it on the (stupid) head -

For most people, dealing with annoying relatives or in-laws is like cleaning the toilet. It’s not something you want to do, but something you have to do.

Sometimes the situation is worsened if this pile of annoying is your spouse’s family. Your significant other may be the best most loving person in the history of man kind, but somehow they manage to be related to hell spawn. I’ve found it helps to always keep in mind that it is all temporary. The shithead leaving trash all over the place? The trash will get picked up and their poor hygiene will get them eventually. Maybe they’re eating all your snacks that you try so hard to hide. Eh, they’ll be gone soon, and your stash will once again be holy and safe. Hey, maybe you’re contributing to making them super fat..REVENGE IS BEST SERVED COLD.

Get very good at extracting yourself from any situation. This will come in very handy when you get so annoyed that your left hand reaches for the candlestick. Getting away from a sticky situation will give you time to breathe and think, and usually just let it go.

Many guides and articles online about the issue ultimately propose that you spend alone time with the
public disturbance. I however, tend to disagree. Once past a certain point of annoying, alone time can be catastrophic. I am in the standing that the best way to go is to try and make yourself laugh at the issue and put enough space to not let any issues erupt. Limit the contact, increase the breathing. And remember, no rat poison.

On my way to buy crap I didn’t need the other day, I tailgated a car that happened to have a great bumper sticker. All it had on it were the words, “It’s all Temporary.” That really hit me and made a lot of things click. Like when you’re trying to first ride a bike, and you keep falling on your ass, then all of a sudden you’re charging forward in a wobbly line. Kind of like that, but more useful.

A lot of times, we all get caught up with work and life stressors, and it gets us frustrated, stressed, and shortens our life. Globally, more than 3 out of 5 doctor visits are for stress related problems. Globally, 23% of women executives and professionals, and 19% of their male peers, say they feel super-stressed. While stress is useful in a fight-or-flight scenario, I find that most of the time I get worked up about something REALLY stupid (or someone really stupid). Seeing this bumper sticker put it all in its place. It’s all temporary. If you think about it, these three simple words make a lot of sense. It’s a common idea in Buddhism, and something that I’ve forgotten over the years. If some situation has you stressed out, just realize and understand that it’s temporary. It’ll be over in a few days, weeks, whatever, so really in the grand scheme of things it’s no big deal. Conversely, if it’s something good, also realize and understand that it’s all temporary so you should enjoy it and cherish it.

If you can get into that frame of mind, I find that it calms you down and makes difficult situations go down easier. While I still haven’t been able to stop all stress in my life, keeping these three words in my mind have helped tremendously.

This post is the next in my How to Deal series (the previous being on dealing with bad performance reviews). As we ride past 25 and 30 is visible down the road, we start to get these feelings of aging. No, not the need for medication for the stir in the pants, but some mentality changes. For me, it’s been about physically weakening, views on taking risks, growing up, and even a tad on mortality. I know we’re not on the cusp of total decrepitude, but it’s something worth thinking about.
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